Overcome

I'm looking over old pictures in some downtime this morning. The chai-hot chocolate is simmering on the stove and I am remembering the best and most overwhelming hike of my life. Not too far from Schladming, Austria, I summitted for the first time over two years ago.

Different life events are juxtaposing these images so strongly in my mind today that it's driven me back to...this abandoned but not forgotten blog! Of all places! (And don't worry, I got the hot chocolate from off the stove--thanks for your concern.)

These images make our world look so vast. So beautiful. So perfect and planned and lovely. There is so much depth. So much life. Uncertainty, certainly.


The astronomy class I have been taking with everyone in Winnipeg's favourite local astronomer, Vesna, has been showing me again and again how small and this world is. If we lived on another rock hurtling through the near-infinite, we wouldn't even consider our current home worth looking at. It is insignificant in almost every way--yet it's conditions are perfect for life. Though so small, our rock is a chosen rock, chosen by The Rock. Not the wrestler. My Rock, maybe I should say.

While both the vastness of our earth and it's smallness are falling on my open mind, I'm also listening to a new favourite song, "Take Heart" by Hillsong. Music has become increasingly important and meaningful in my life. This thread that barely anyone on this earth can fully hate, is something that binds us together and binds me to my God in an even stronger way. In a book I read in high school about a kid who hated the Mennonite village she lived in, the thing that still mystified her was when the town was singing together, bound by common words which hopefully had common meaning and significance behind them. I feel the same. When I listen to lines like:

"Take heart. May His love lead us through the night. Hold onto hope, and take courage again,"

I am moved. These words, in a soft and driving melody, encourage my heart, which sometimes seems so big and sometimes so small in relativity to the rest of this world and universe. The Lord's individual love and passion for me shocks me again.

"All our troubles, all our tears, God our hope, He has overcome.

All our failure and all our fear, God our love, He has overcome.

All our heartache and all our pain, God our healer, He has overcome.

All our burdens, and all our shame, God our freedom, He has overcome."

He has overcome. All the infinite, all the small. All passing trials, all seemingly lasting concerns. All weakness, all pride. All trials. All pain. Is dealt with. These are statements that are not relative. They are statements that are always true, in each situation, no matter the intensity of it.

Somehow, though I should feel small and insignificant and helpless, I feel none of that. I am empowered and anointed by the Lord, as all of you are. I am significant and I matter all the time, even if I had not a friend on the earth. I would be helpless without the help of the Lord.

I hope you feel empowered today, as I do, in knowing that God has overcome.

The Prince of Peace

These last few days have been a lesson in trust, a test of faith, and a celebration of God's goodness. My friend was diagnosed with a serious brain tumour last week, and since that time I have seen the people of God rise up around him, and got to count myself one of them. This situation, so fast moving and quick paced, has also been characterized by the peace that only comes from God. Peace, so far from the nature of chaos and uncertainty, is emanating from my friend, and is bringing glory to God. Prayer answered.

Today Nathan had a biopsy on his brain to relieve fluid build up and to take a sample of the tumour, which, of course, is located in the medically inoperable midbrain. The prayers of hundreds of friends, family, and strangers were answered as the doctor performing the procedure pulled it off perfectly, and Nathan is awoke feeling well, full of humour. Prayer answered.

There are many more prayers waiting to be answered right now, but much relief each morning awaking to the knowledge that God "is all over this," as my friend Kara said. How He will choose to answer our prayers is up to Him, and His choices are made perfectly even when they look downright atrocious from our perspective. Still, I have seen God answer big prayers in big ways, and I pray with as much expectance as I can muster for Him to do it again.

He is God, He is good.

The Lord is my Shepherd, I lack nothing.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

He leads me beside quiet waters,

He refreshes my soul.

He guides me along the right paths for His name's sake.

Even though I walk through the darkest valley,

I will fear no evil, for you are with me;

your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely your goodness and love will follow me

all the days of my life,

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

{Psalm 23}

Pray for Nathan!

The One Day Roadtrip

Today, in a span of twelve hours, I had a simply gorgeous time. My good friend Victoria/Dubs fearlessly lead me and two other friends into a mini road trip that took us to the exotic locale of Grand Forks, North Dakota. Peppered with chills (almost not making it across the border due to a forgotten passport) and thrills (finding a beautiful park in the middle of town and lying in the grass for endless moments), it was a full and tasty day.

Driving in the country is one of the most blissful ways to spend a day for me. I have half-dreamt of being a truck driver so many times, though I'm pretty sure that would take the romance right out of the road trip for me. I could have stayed in that car all day, speeding down the flat, straight roads that I love, past the green of the grass and the blue of the sky, which was accented so beautifully today by the sun shining through grey clouds. For some reason, I always find it prettiest outside when the sun is shining through grey clouds. It makes the greens greener, I am sure of it.

There are other reasons why I love being in the car. Cars are where the best conversations are born often. We chatted and laughed and (I) even cried a bit today as we talked our way down to the States and back. I was challenged and inspired all at once. Plus I had a whole lot of fun. Music, too, is a benefit of being in a car for hours. Album after album, song after song. Jussssst love it.

And now, to bed!

Best Latte Ever

As almost always, it's been too long since last I blogged, but to anyone who still reads this, I hope this was worth waiting for.

If the past month had a title, and this one weren't so cheesy, it would be "Smelling the Roses." I think that's what I've been learning about--how to enjoy the between-moments of every day, what takes place before and after the events that one usually looks forward to.

My days in Calgary often consist of one planned activity: work. 12-4, 11-3, or some similar short shift that involves an hour transit to and an hour transit from the mall, that I may earn a little money and share the wealth of knowledge I possess on loose-leaf tea. So a 4-hour event becomes a 6-hour event, and you know what? I love it. I can honestly say that I have not yet been bored in Calgary, though often I have nothing in particular to do. I sit on the train and think, pray, knit, read, look out the window, or doze. I get a single chocolate from Purdy's on my way home to eat in no fewer than four bites, and I savor the flavor as I walk over Macleod Trail on the pedestrian bridge. I think about the people driving below me, where they're going, if they're having good days. My mind wanders.

It has been a beautiful thing for my relationship with God--I have more time, more solitude, and more quietness. I am encouraged by the different church bodies I visit and challenged by the individuals in them. I am questioned by new friends, and am comfortable with my old ones.

I bolt of the train last minute at unplanned times just to walk around and people watch. The other day I was training home from work and got off at a downtown stop and intended to walk to Prince's Island Park, my favourite place in Calgary. It's a beautiful park in the middle of the Bow River downtown, with walking bridges, so much green, tons of trees, and a little cafe. Benches are scattered around, ice cream stalls are set up, and it's just generally gorgeous. On this particular afternoon though, in typical Sarah fashion, I took a wrong turn and ended up making a long, circuitous circle with my steps. Back at the station, I saw a sign stating something that every second shop of it's kind states: "Best Latte Ever." This, I thought, must be tested. As it turns out, the home of the "Best Latte Ever" is a little espresso and wine bar on the second floor of Art Central, a kind of mall of galleries and art shops, home to local collectives and magazine offices. Oh, the places you discover when going nowhere in particular. The unfriendly barista at deVille coffee handed me my latte and informed me they were closing in 20 minutes, in a voice that begrudged me for being so bold as to ask anything of her in their last 30 minutes of business-time. I sat at by a window, ate my apple, drank my Best Latte Ever and thorough enjoyed it.

All on my way home from work.

I think everyone needs more time where they are going no where in particular. Wandering and meandering is such a therapeutic thing for me, though it is often regarded as a waste of time and unproductive.

What the dickens is it with our culture and being productive? Why must we accomplish so much each day in order to feel it was well-spent? Why is relaxation seen as laziness? I have come to thoroughly believe that we were not built for the stresses that we accumulate as we move through life. As we are "productive." Is it really productive to do so many things that you care about nothing that you are producing, only caring about your survival?

Smell the roses. Create time for in-between, where it is okay if you take a wrong turn and don't end up where you intended.

This is an exquisite time in life. In-between. Slowly putting things in order for the next stroke of life that adds to the full picture. Placing down the pencil and drawing, then erasing and trying again. Figuring things out does not have to be a worry. It can be exciting. It can be beautiful. It can be seen as God's faithfulness in guiding us, in showing us which doors are not for us as we grasp the handle and try to turn it. He will lead and guide, He will never forsake, He will hold us by the hand and hold us in His hands at the same time. And with Him leading, whatever I end up producing will be of the utmost beauty.

Sheila

Today has been my second full day of life in Calgary. The last few weeks have been ripe with adventure as three of my girlfriends and I drove through the American midwest to California and then up the coast. I have a plethora of shiny bright spots to blog about later, but today, it's all about Sheila.

Sheila is my friend Jordan's, who invited me out here in the first place, aunt. She is the one I am renting a room from, and until today I had only really said hello. Though 7 people live in the house, there is not a lot of action on the main floor. The three Chinese exchange students live upstairs and so far I haven't seen much of them. Sheila's son works a lot and so I haven't met him either, and Sheila goes to bed quite early so I've missed her too.

Tonight, however, I deliberately plunked myself down on the living room couch once I got home so that I could maybe meet some of the people I share a house with, or have some other social interaction. Sure enough, I ended up spending the evening with Sheila, talking about her job as a lawyer's assistant, her passion for music and the country band she used to play in which, for the record, once opened for Paul Brandt. We went for a walk around sunset, and it was just good. Nice to get to know someone new in a deeper way than an introduction.

A bright spot.

A Day to Myself

I decided to have a day to myself today. My family set out east for our cottage yesterday for the night, and (to their slight dismay) I decided to stay behind. Did I have any plans? my mother asked me. Actually, no. I did not stay behind for anything specific, only to enjoy life and the quietness of an empty house which I never find w

hilst living with 5 other people.

Last night, I pulled out my borrowed guitar for the first time since fall and played (that word may be a bit of a stretch, insinuating talent on my part which is not yet there) for about 3 hours. I spent time pulling up YouTube tutorials (rockongoodpeople makes some great ones!) and trying to copy strumming patterns and enjoying the pain in my fingertips and the frustration of bar chords.

Today has been completely lovely. After a morning coffee with my friend Brenda, I was inspired to go window-shopping for inspiration for my room, which I have been meaning to re-decorate all year. Once I return from Calgary at the end of June, I will surely have some time, and I am SO excited to get to it! Brenda is an interior designer and at the mention of re-decorating, whipped out her color wheels and that was it. I was exhilarated. I spent the next 2 hours walking through furniture and home decorating stores looking for inspiration. I actually found very little of what I want--simple but cluttered and eclectic. Lots of wood. A few patterned textiles throughout. I have a lot to do. My friend Claire recently showed me this blog:

http://theselby.com

It's a photographer who goes around and takes photos of peoples spaces and lives. Several pictures from his page were on track with what I want:

Back at home, I am looking to the kitchen, inspired by a Selby post to bake some bread. Will it happen? Who knows. Who cares. Anything is possible in a day to myself.

It Started So Well/John Mayer Saved the Day

Today could have gone better. There were two segments of my day today: they are entitled study, and work. And they both started so well.

I met with one of THE nicest men in the entire world today, David Atem. He is an academic advisor at the U of W and moved here from Africa some time ago. I was not looking forward to the 15 minute meeting, mostly because I don't usually enjoy menial little tasks such as that. In the same way, I hate going to the post office, for example. Anyways, moving past my personal quirks, I actually enjoyed myself at that meeting, seeing this man's wide, wide smile when all we were talking about was psychology pre-requisites and major electives. I appreciated it a lot, as the rest of this "study" part of my day was sure to be quite stagnant.

And it was. Classic university student study day. Just not that awesome. But I had expected that, and it was fine. But then, segment two began, entitled "work."

Work started so well. I was in high spirits because the first 2 hours of bustling around behind a tiny counter shuffling 150 tins full of loose teas whilst battling against my co-workers for counter space felt like something of a study break. But then that wore off, and I shifted to survival mode--just keep serving tea, just keep making people smell your tea, just keep asking them if they wanted a cup of tea hot or cold for just $2.81 including tax. And it worked. I survived. In reality, I more than survived. It was pretty good.

But close. AHHH close. I learned how to close the tills for the first time tonight, some 6 months after starting my position there. Things went downhill when I did just an extraordinary sequence of stupid mistakes. And I felt dumb. And pissed off. And like I just wanted to go home, yet there I was, shoving bags of tea into shelves that had not near enough volume.

John Mayer was there for me, though. I don't like him when he opens his mouth to do anything but sing. When he sings, ahhhh. I'm just happy. And all through that crappy hour-long close, John Mayer was playing. And I survived. So thank you, John Mayer, for saving my day. Now could you please just act like the person you sound like you are when you sing? Then you could really save my day.

This is the first day I am actually searching for the best parts of the day, the first day it would be easier to spew all the miniscule things that drove me crazy. Yet one of the main inspirations for this blog is to intentionally find the best in each day.

Thank you, God, for nice people, thank you, God, for music, and that I say from the very bottom of my heart.

Ah release.